I was a three-thousand ingredient stew of mixed up messages about him. Was he a player I should "watch out for" or a guy I could have a nicer starter ...xperience with? Or both? I played over every moment until my head spun.Wednesday was medium busy. I stopped trying to analyze the Marcy-Evan-Heather-Jean-Luc mystery. I mean, I had an amazing kiss demonstration followed by an amazing kiss. How cool was that? One good thing about this job. Daydreaming was allowed.Thursday was even busier.I must. Something was very, very wrong with me. I knew it, but I didn't want to stop being around him. I didn't want to never see him again. The feelings, the urges, they just became too much for me. The guilt was killing me. And the idea that he didn't even think of me in that manner crushed me. I knew it wasn't his fault though. Anything I felt for him and about him and what I did with those feelings were just my own selfish actions. I didn't know where my love and lust for him ended or where my. More

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