Which princess sang, “One day my prince will come”? Whichever, one day, I hope my prince will cum too. I never saw a nudie magazine until I was 16... and one of the lads brought one into art class. I never got a chance to look at it, as the (rumoured to be) lesbian teacher swooped down, and stood there flicking through it, saying things like “Mmmmm, she’s a healthy girl… Oooo, full frontal… How beautiful the human form is, I would love to paint her bits, that’s rather lovely…” as the lads cringed. I mean, let’s be honest here, cigarette girls are a dime a dozen, and the way I went through nightclubs, I’d seen a hundred dollars’ worth already. Her hat came bobbing through the crowd, keeping that hot swing beat, with those short maple-wood waves under it shining in the lights off the big bandstand. Call her what you want, a dame, a doll, a pinup waiting to happen, anybody could see that there was something about her that begged for your eyes. It wasn’t just the hat. But it sure as hell. More

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