I hate the bulge which it gives me. I want to be smooth down there. Ishould be smooth down there. I hate the reminder it gives me when itgets erect. W...en it is hard and throbbing each throb is a littlemessage that I am not all woman. That message is a lie but I believeit. To me being a woman is not about the body. Being a woman is who aperson is. It is part of their soul. I want my body to match my soul.Karen did what she always does, listens. The only agenda she has is forme to come to an. I was paralyzed. In the dirty mirror across from me my own fat face stared back at me, mousy hair pulled into a ponytail, acne spattered across my cheeks. I hated it. I hated this stupid tiny bedroom, in this filthy trailer, in this dead-end trailer park. I hated it, and since the moment I glimpsed something else the obsession had been building in me. And here I was, finally, too much of a coward to act. My lower lip was trembling. I forced myself to stand up in my underwear, trying to ignore. More

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