It’s like “The Da Vinci Code” – I don’t know how anyone manages to get past the first crappy sentence.”“Have you actually read it?” as...ed Sue.“What, “The Da Vinci Code”?” I said. “I tried, but gave up. I mean, for fuck’s sake…”“No, “Fifty Shades of Grey”, silly,” interrupted Sue, just in time to stop me going off on one again about Dan Brown’s turgid prose.“I read the first couple of chapters of Mel’s copy,” I admitted, “but that was quite enough. I mean, it just rambled on like some sixth-form. I discreetly ran my fingers over her breasts and pinched her nipples, not hard enough for her to cry out but enough for her to breathe in deeply. I pulled away from her lips then brushed her long brown hair away from her ear then leaned in and whispered, “I have a new toy. It is only six and a half inches long, but it is two-inches wide. I was thinking about sliding that into your tight ass as I fuck you from behind with my strap-on.”As I spoke, I turned the toy back on suddenly. Carrie tried. More

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