" After placing an ad in the Village Voice I sat back and waited for orders to pour in like fan mail to Brad Pitt. It instead trickled like fan mail t... Zasu Pitts (paging IMDB ap).I did eventually get my first party request in Queens. So I packed up my party favors and rode a train across town. Once there I sought out the locale of my philanthropic efforts: the Dystrophied Arms Retirement Home and Mausoleum. My hopes for riches were dashed but I kept a stiff-upper-lip. A Granny Clampett wannabe. I was in the shower when I thought about how crazy that day had been. This morning I’d never kissed anyone, never showed my naked body to anyone, never seen a man naked before. Now I’d let a boy eat me out and fuck my face until he exploded into my mouth. Was this normal? I didn’t think so. But I guess I wasn’t normal either.Since discovering I was actually some sort of alien race that had the ability to change my form at will, I guess I’d been trying to act as normal as possible. Except for. More

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