" How come you don't have a girlfriend?" she asked. She appeared to have completely ignored my impassioned plea."Girlfriends are time consuming and ex...ensive," I said. "And a lot of them break your heart." So you just jerk off instead," she said.My goodness, but my niece was acting all grown up, now."Okay, yes. That kind of date is easy to make, and nobody cares if, when the time comes, I feel like doing something else instead. It's cheap, convenient and safe." I smiled."So you think I'm going. .. where did the draft come from?From over by the still.What still?That one."Arnold? Isn't that a moonshine still over in the corner?" The one with the..." Grace!!"Her head showed over the trap hole and a foot stepped on the first step. "What?" Call the cops," I said. "And get out of the way, because I ain't a-staying down here."Arnold and I levitated the 14 feet out of the basement.Grace had the cops on the phone before I made it to her but I snatched it out of her hand in mid word."Hi, I need. More

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