“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe”.( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a bl...nd man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy. With guns. Big guns. And a hostage, a young woman wrapped in a cocoon of clear plastic wrap. “Illegal enough for you, boss?” “Which? The guns or the girl?” I growled, my ire up. I’d always had a soft spot for the fairer sex. I was a bit old school like that. We were done waiting and watching. Time for some action. “I’ll take care of the rough, Squirt. You distract them. Don’t take any risks. Got it?” “It’s Love Bug.” She pouted, giving her zipper a hard tug, hopefully ensuring that it stayed. More

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