The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so har... every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was. However, she swallowed hard when Katie dipped in to the bag again and this time took out a long hook ended cane and placed it on the table.Katie could see that Gemma was playing along nicely as she took out the pad and pen but equally knew there would be a concerned look on her face when she saw the cane and so made sure she did not look at her as she placed the cane on the table.In fact, Katie remained teacher’ish as she ignored the cane and ordered, “Write out on one line, ‘I have a double. More

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