What I didn't realize at the time was what those curve inducing hormoneswould do to my brain. I had always been a nice boy, not aggressive, butnot one...to back down from anyone either, I was that tough little MarkJames. Now, I don't feel so tough, maybe even a little needy, no,threatened would be a better word, as though my world was spinning outof control and I had no way to stop it.I knew I didn't want to become Mark James again, as much as I missedhim, but I knew who Amanda Flowers had become. So it was a pleasant time. But I did have a secret. Somewhere along the way in my restrained childhood and hearing my friends and sitting through sex Ed and my own natural curiosity, I developed a penchant for online porn. I waited until I knew my parents were distracted and convinced I was doing work, and then I would look up all sorts of pictures and videos and stories. I didn’t care if it was straight, gay, any race or any sort of fantasy, I had to look and imagine it. Then I would sneak off. More

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