I’ve talked to my doctor and read through the effects and side-effects. I don’t think meds are the answer. It’s the worst at night. I go to bed,...feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus.. I finally get to work and my boss is pissed off because I'm late, keep in mind I have never been late before. She calls me into the office and shuts the door which means I'm in for an ass chewing now. I sit in the small chair in front of her desk and s she steps around to her chair she sniffs the air, "do you smell something odd?" she asks."No? what does it smell like?" I ask.Not sure, but it smells somewhat like sex, but it shouldn't be, not with you that is, she laughs out.Now I'm pissed at. More

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