The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."The enti...e congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."Dear Family & Friends,I am sorry that I have not been consistently responsive lately to your emails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue. We bounce along the beach, and then we nose down and I blackout.I come to - the sun has come up. Shit! How did I get in the back seat!? I feel like every bone in my body is broken. The asshole Dodge stirs besides me. He looks at me and says, "Darling! Thank God, you are alive!" Then he clutches my hand.I have a very bad feeling about this!Episode Two: The Rebuilding RichardThe effete snob was actually looking at me like I was a person, and not a piece of furniture. His smooth (Never did a lick. More

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