The chains from the leather restraints to the screw eyes were short, and he couldn't move very much. He tried to hold out for me, but by one in the af...ernoon his body was trembling. I quickly unlocked him, and after an hour of massage and after care, he felt much better.So, we had to drop the original idea. But sometimes, I lock him against the wall when I want to lie in bed and read or watch TV. I only lock him up for 2 or 3 hours, but it's nice to force him to stand there and pay attention to. What's wrong with this picture?The rest of us learn to find something else to do. Some of us do it inconspicuously. Others get put on Ritalin. Their statistics are skyrocketing. Drug pushers, both "legal" and illegal, love our modern system of education.So, this is what I've lived my life with. The old line of "hang in there, it'll get better," is just so much wishful thinking, so much bull shit. I'd resigned myself to putting in my time like everybody else until I realized that I wouldn't be. More

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