Speaking of guns, when was the last time you saw my revolver? You know the one I bought from that street kid," asked Ray."I threw it away a week after...you brought it home. I told you we didn't need it in the house. What made you look for the gun?" I asked."I wasn't going to tell you but about a week after you left I really felt bad and kept drinking trying to drown out my sorrows. I drank way too much and wasn't thinking right and decided to try to take my own life. I couldn't find the damn. Maybe I could even go on a short vacation or something.Poor Ben. Poor, poor Ben! He'd been so patient with me through thisrecovery period, only seeing my briefly at Christmas time, when I said Iwasn't feeling well and could only be with him for part of the day. Hecould tell something was a little different with me face, and said thathe liked it! Anyway now that I was 'back' to being my "real self", Benand I were spending more and more time together, seeing each otherwhenever we both had. More

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