A second later, the door opened all the way, and he turned to see his mother stick her head out."Turn around, son. I'm coming out," she told him when ...he spied him."I don't understand why you don't just wrap a towel around your whole body," David replied as he turned around. The truth was that he didn't want her to wrap it around her whole body, but he had to play the his part.He didn't hear anything in response, and turned to see that she was already in her room, the door tightly shut. David. Monday morning, I consulted with the alpha male sage of our mullet-sporting sub-group and he told me the straight dope on crashing through "the iron gates of life," with my sore-headed soda-can cock. The next time we met, I came equipped: a fire-engine red 76 Camaro, a four pack of peach wine coolers, a small jar of Vaseline I had liberated from my mom's medicine cabinet, and, most importantly, a raging erection. After a few drinks of the disgusting potent potables, we began our earnest quest. More

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