Frederick did not leave as he had anticipated and during the next few weeks, he and I became good friends. Often, after the Rejoicers had danced at mi...-day, we would walk together among the flowers and trees, talking and laughing. I found myself strangely attracted to him. His eyes glowed with a radiance that I had never seen before. He seemed so curious about life and the world. I fell passionately in love with him. Still I did not want him to know me for who I was or to know who I had been. Then She met Butch, and he moved in soon after.Butch was Mom's first black man. He had recently been released from state prison, but Mom was crazy about him. I used to listen to them fucking every night. She was always hanging on him, treating him like he was a king, massaging him, kissing on him. He didn't like me much. He treated me nice when Mom was around, but when we were alone he mostly ignored me. I think it was because I wasn't the most masculine 18 year old k**. In fact, looking back. More

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