I really wanted to but I had never been very successful and most girls I was involved never gave it up and just used me for various reasons. I am not...a shy person, so I decided to start putting myself out there. I am kind of a bigger person, I would not say fat, just big, so I was always self conscious and very scared of rejection, because that is all I have ever dealt with. I really wanted to get some ass. One night early in the semester, Christy brought her new roommate Amber over. Amber was. I mean when she tells me to do those disgusting things. When she makes me do those terrible, wrong and degrading things, well at the time it just feels so right, like it is what I am meant to do. I am sorry I can’t explain it. I mean I feel awful afterward. I feel dirty and I know it is wrong, but when it's happening I like it…all of it, and sometimes when I think about it, it makes me feel so, I don’t know, so hot I guess, but right afterward I feel disgusting and dirty. I know what she makes. More

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