Then a wall of despair crashed and thundered about me, a giant tsunami of grief. What had I done to her? How could I have let her develop feelings for...me? I waited for the blackness to abate and eventually I had strength to get up and get dressed. I contemplated dressing in the clothes that I wore yesterday, but then I decided that I ought, at least, to look presentable.I laughed mirthlessly, sneering at the vanity of it, but still I washed and shaved, brushed my teeth, taking solace in the. But I was just tossing and turning and couldn't sleep so I called Lucy even though it was way after midnight and it rang for a long time but I never thought about hanging up, I just let it ring and ring and then finally she answered and her voice was thick and hoarse and she said “Hello?” and I said “Hey it's me, did I wake you up?” and she said “Uhh... yeah but... that's okay” and I said “Can we talk?” and she said “Sure” and we talked for a while about nothing really, or I talked mostly I. More

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