Maddie was still in an excellent mood and I wanted to keep her that way, but she did seem to become more and more pensive and nervous the closer we go... to the ranch. When we were a few miles away she asked me to pull over and she spoke to me earnestly. ‘I’ve been behaving impossibly badly for a long time, really much too long. Everyone is fed up with me, and I don’t blame them one bit. My behavior has been utterly inexcusable and I admit it. I’m genuinely sorry about a great many things, but I. I saw happiness and hope, where before there was only disappointment and despair.I started noticing, sometime in early September, that my thoughts were constantly turning to girls. I was horny. I had taken the required steps for relieving my sexual tension, masturbating several times a week, at least. It wasn't the same as enjoying the real thing.I had a lot less contact with girls ever since my last phone conversation with Shirley. I had talked with her the Sunday after my meeting Helen, and. More

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