So, here I am without something to believe in when, apparently, I need something. I’ve thought about medication for anxiety. I’ve talked to my doc...or and read through the effects and side-effects. I don’t think meds are the answer. It’s the worst at night. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if. Was she using 60? 80? Every time I curled the weights to my chest, I saw visions of her gigantic bicep balling up in slow motion, her delts, forearms, triceps, and brachialis flaring out in perfect definition. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about her bulging, dominant musculature and her bitchy, domineering attitude. Becky Finklestein was a bully. The worst kind of bully. The kind of bully that forces you into a fight by hitting your girlfriend. The kind of bully who was. More

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