Two more candidates popped into view very quickly, one a practicing physician who had never married and the other a boy a year younger than me that I ...et at church. Fortunately, the older man had already grappled with some of the psychological issues and just appreciated “the ride”. With the younger one I had to adopt the role of a teacher and as I showed him the finer points of fucking I always related it to him finding another girlfriend of his own.This went on for some time and I always had. That happens, too. It's the same shit that the lethargy and the anger and the depression come from. When your life is controlled by drugs, you just learn to accept whatever emotion they plant in you. It's like I don't own any of them. I don't know what's real and what's drug-induced. It's supposed to control the manic-depressive state but most of the time you just don't feel anything. It's okay mostly when it's bringing me up out of depression, but then I never get the really intense drive to. More

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