‘It’s the preface.’ We were having fun with each other, like we always did, except there was a crowd of over three hundred listening in. ‘I pr...mise to live up to your expectations. If I can’t do it right away, I’ll figure out how. ‘I promise to assume you know what you’re doing or talking about unless you indicate to the contrary, because you do. ‘I promise to use subterfuge, nag, kvetch and do whatever it takes to keep you healthy enough to become an old man. ‘And I promise to find the value. There are rubber fetishes, feet fetishes, many types. I have a fingernail fetish. In my mind, there is nothing more erotic than beautiful hands with long, perfectly painted nails dancing on a computer keyboard or a piano or tapping on the table. If I see a woman with this feature, I get hard instantly. Well, I used to get hard, anyway. It was a normal Monday night. I left my dorm and drove to the local Long John Silvers with a handful of coupons that I got in the mail (college students. More

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