I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me ...n the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.The kids bought me a GPS. Now I had to do the deed.My girlfriend stood up and moved gingerly to the floor, her legs firmly fixed on the floor. From my position, I could easily access her butt hole. She moved closer and I started licking the sides. The taste was putrid. I got closer to the hole and licked it in wide laps.She: Put some love into it. I don’t want to waste water.Me: Yes, Mistress.With that, I began working furiously, completely taking in every stray bit.She: Move your tongue inside and give my hole a good. More

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