Grandad would commence his pitch. ‘Roll up, roll up ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I have the honour to present to you, direct from his sold ...ut appearances way across the seas, the amazing, the incredible, the miraculous, memory recall of Professor Orville, I know it all, Newton. From the ripe old age of 1 whole year, Orville Newton has embarked on the task of learning and absorbing every miniscule bit of knowledge known to mankind. When he was 18 months old he could recite any passage. .and tell me all about it when I get home from school. Every detail."There was a glint in my eye and a bulge in my pants, the likes of which we hadn't seen in a long time. Kelly nodded understandingly if unsurely. "But how do I...?" she enquired with a patented wide-eyed look of innocence and trying desperately not to sound too enthusiastic."Oh, use your imagination," I teased, surprising myself with just how excited the idea was making me. "Tell him you've tickets for the theatre."Kelly. More

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