I pulled open the nightstand drawer where I kept John's letters to me, I began opening them and reading. It was the fifth letter where he began puttin... that in the Postscript. I also caught something else; he kept telling me to go out and have fun. Not to stay home all cooped up. He told me to go to the club and let my hair down. What was he telling me or trying to tell me? Was he telling me to go to bed with other men? No way, NO FUCKING WAY!!!I sat there holding the letters; I guess what. I went into the houseand told my mom, please don't make me wear diapers anymore, but my momsaid you will till you learn to go to the bathroom when you need to. Igave up and wet my pants then and ran outside, knowing i would be stillin diapers after doing that. Actually over the next few weeks i wet mypants just to stay in diapers and my sisters dresses. My mom seemed to beless angry with me even though i wet my pants, i learned to wait until itwas time to check me before doing it. My sister was. More

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