I knew you'd text me today, trying to convince me to let you have my ass. You really think I'd let you put that monster in my backdoor. Crazy fucker,"...Lexi chuckled.She told him how she purposely left her phone in her bedroom, knowing that her mother was constantly in there picking up after her. She also explained how her mother had been awfully lonely since the divorce. Her asshole of a father had cheated, causing her mom to lose some of her self-esteem."I just wanted someone to make her feel. "Are you there?" Yes." Sorry for the interruption," Mr. Houpt said. "These new phones! For a moment I thought my 'mute' button wasn't working." Yes, they sure can be frustrating! Let me ask you just a few questions." Are you above 25 years of age?" Yes." Do you ever watch professional or college sports on TV?" Yes." Do you ever drink beer, wine, coffee, tea, soda, or juice?" Oh shit, that was lame! What else was there?"Yes." Well, then you qualify! I realize now that we have someone who can. More

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