Nothing.Oh, $%#@! What was I going to do? Can't walk, can't call a cab, can't leave the car in somebody's parking space! I popped open the hood, knowi...g it would be fruitless, as my mechanical skills are maxed out changing a light bulb. As I peered into the morass of metal, lost in my misery, I was startled by a voice behind me: “Can I give you a hand?” I was so absorbed, I hadn't heard the SUV pull up and stop behind me. Calling out across front seat was a pretty decent looking guy about 35. They were mostly guff, promising one thing whilst sending you somewhere completely different. But this one boasted an impossible product, and an even more impossible delivery time. The ‘Long-Long Club’ claimed to dabble in tentacle pimping. Like, actual living, possibly-breathing tentacle monsters. In the advertisement there were several women being treated to the attention of far-reaching, penis-like tentacles, expressions of ecstasy on their faces. One was hanging upside down, another was. More

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